play If I Met Me At A Party

That’s gotta be the dumbest thing I’ve ever overheard
He’s like some philosophical windup doll
Who is he to criticize?
I hate the way he rolls his eyes.
Look at him leaning, smugly, up against that wall

If I met me at a party, if I met me at a party, if I met me at a party
Would I like me? I don’t know.

That’s gotta be the worst haircut I’ve ever seen
He’s like some grungy preppy in a Purple Haze
Those earrings, man, they’re just a fad
He thinks he’s cool, I think he’s pathetic
Who invited him here anyway?

If I met me at a party, if I met me at a party, if I met me at a party
Would I hate me? I don’t know.

If I met me at a party would I offer me a drink?
Would I laugh at all my comments?
Would I wonder what I think?
If I met me at a party would I want to be my friend?
Would I let me date my sister?
Would I say, “Let’s get together again?”

Those have to be the coolest tattoos I have ever seen
But it’s a good thing you can’t see’em cuz he’s wearing clothes
Still can’t stand the haircut
Or the earrings
Hey, well, no big deal
Nobody’s perfect I suppose

If I met me at a party, if I met me at a party, if I met me at a party
Would I like me? I don’t know.
I suppose I could tolerate myself…

updated: 7 years ago